Hapdet

Hectic month: December dah berlalu. Here's an update on December.

On health

Operation untuk remove appendix (rupanye masuk hospital hari tu mmg ade apendix, tp sbb tebal..tak nampak bila scan. lemak aku ke yg tebal sgt tu?) dan breast lump dah selamat dijalankan on 17 December. Sebulan lah aku duk susah hati about the breast lump..sampailah dah operate and doktor bagitau result lump yg dikeluarkan tu..barulah aku lega. Konfem bukan cancer.

To ladies, check your breast regularly...check with knowledge. Selama ni memang lah aku rasa ade lump kat belah kiri, but I thought muscle ke and normal lah breast pempuan ade lump due to our menstrual cycle kan. Untill one day aku pi massage sebab demam time malam lama tak baik2..badan pun sakit2. Kakak yg massage tu rajin lak pi pegang belah tepi breast and she insist that it's not normal, p la check. Kebetulan lak Sabtu tu aku ade appointment dgn gynea (ni lagi satu penyakit tak hilang2 since the past 2 years), so terus la p buat ultrasound, and later refer to specialist. Masa buat ultrasound tu doktor pempuan, tapi punyelah takde empathy and budi bahasa dgn pesakit dia boleh ckp "ok it's big, I'll refer you to breast surgeon to remove it". Ofkos la aku ni terperanjat kan..breast tu..tak kawin lagi, mcm2 la kita fikir. Then bila aku tanya lg dia jwb yelahh just remove it lahh (sambil buat muka wateve). Then blah. Lembik kaki aku, nurse yg papah kuar bilik..patutnye aku tunggu lab report kuar, tp aku balik terus sbb dah nk menangis kt situ (kontrol ayu tetap ye), aku ckp hantar je lah report tu kt doktor.

Bila kita sakit,dpt doktor sebok nak bedah je ni, better seek 2nd opinion. The surgeon I met was kind, a Muslim doktor. He delivered the same news, immediate surgery should be done..tp cara dia ckp and he keep saying, insyaallah it's just a lump..it's just small incision and your breast won't reduce size. Barulah tak scary kan bunyinye.

Masa tu, my brother and sister's wedding lagi 2 minggu and ade exam masa yg sama. Aku mintak pospon sampai lepas exam. Doktor marah la takut apendix pecah, tp aku degil jgk. Sebbaik xde ape2. Tapi sementara sebulan menunggu tarikh operation tu, sebulan jgklah aku tak senang hati..takut pun ade, dah la rahsia dari family kan, suka2 hati je.

Now, rasa lebih sihat. Perut aku pun dah jarang kembung2 and dah xde heart-burn and scar kat breast pun kecik sgt..dalam 4 cm. skang doktor dah x payah jahit, dia pakai gam je kot..so scar just 1 line je, xde lah teruk. The surgeon pun baiknye hati siap bg gel to reduce scar..tp company kurang baik hati, tak cover lak gel tu kenalah bayar sendiri.

Bila sakit ni, macam2 perangai org dan perangai sendiri yang kita nampak.

Perangai sendiri: reality that life is soo short. Terus insaf jap, and fikir "what if..". End up amek insurans, booking air tickets and buat passport ;p Masa sakit jgk, positive attitude penting..mula2 downlah lah jgk, seminggu lah tak lalu makan, tak lena tido..asal nak pejam mata je menangis..masa ni org advice ape pun tak nak dengar, aku ni hah yg menanggung..bknnye kau, senangla kau ckp. Then lama2 terimalah hakikat and motivate la diri sendiri. If it is cancer, at least I know when I'm suppose to die..at least sempat buat preparation dunia akhirat kan, it is indeed a blessing in disguise.

Perangai orang: ade jugak org yg ckp "laa...masuk hospital lg kau nih.." "isk..mcm2 la kau ni." Takde sape yg mintak nak sakit. Takde sape yg seronok2 masuk hospital. Ingatbest ke kena operate, nak sedar dari ubat bius tu punyelah seksa and nak menguruskan diri lps operation sgt sakit specially bila operate dekat perut..bersin pun bole menyebabkan air mata mengalir. Sihat tu salah satu nikmat, hargailah.

Ade jugak yg bila kita sakit ni barulah terbukti sejauh mana kasih sayang dia pada kita..jeng jeng jenggg.. Tapi yg paling caring ialah family, tak payah nak cari bukti. Tq mak jaga kakak kt hospital! (atas arahan aku, my brother call my mom after the operation..and she came to KL immediately).

For now, tak sabar nak betul2 baik luka..ade kasut futsal and hiking yg tak berkesempatan lg nak pakai ni.


On family

First week of December, ade big family wedding. Brother and sister kawin serentak. So ade 3 kenduri lah to go, including side ipar ni. Sebbaik la dgn orang Klang..kalo dgn orang Sarawak ke, Johor ke..mau lg pening nak arrange travel.

When my sis done her akad nikah, I can't help but cried, both of us. Dah la lps nikah tu I have to go back to KL sbb esok tu exam, tak dapat tgk dorang naik pelamin. Kitorang beza umur 4 thn, seblom sorang jd gemuk dulu (sape yg gemuk tuu) orang slalu tertukar mana adik mana kakak. She stayed with me since dia habis blajar..and 2 years before kawin, we stayed together, me..adik yg laki and adik pempuan ni. Sebab tu lah rapat tapi gaduh pun slalu la kan. We have the same shirt (lain size), the same bag, the same wallet..ape yg beli sume dia berkenan & vice versa. Kasut pun share. We both has the same obsession in shopping, kalo tau je MNG or Zara sale, rasa menggigil sket badan terus janji jumpa kat KLCC lepas balik keje. We shares most of our things, yg mana bole muat la kan..Masa dia nk pindah umah (duduk dgn laki dia la), jenuh mengasing baju2 termasuk la sepende yg dah bercampur2.."eh tu baju kami la..eh ni baju hang.."

My brother kawin dgn her best friend's little sister. Our family dah kenal since my brother in MRSM..tak sangka pulak jd menantu..kata my mom. Sejak2 dah kawin ni makin bertanggungjawab lak dia jd nye, pastu baik lak dgn aku..kalo tak dulu garang bukan main dgn adik beradik.

I'm glad that my siblings dah kawin dgn spouse yg baik & bole masuk la dgn family..hopefully sampai bila-bilalah kekal baiknye. Aminn.

Btw, I'll be getting 2 anak sedara this year, hohoo productive sgt!


On study

Tgh2 sebok adik2 nak kawin dgn debar2 nak operate ni..time tu lah jgk exam. Dah la ade yang paper deret2..kuchaaa. My sole intention masa register utk sambung belajar adelah sbb for the sake of education, dah bosan keje nak belajar pulak kan. Study is like a careerbreak for me, and I found myself looking forward for the class every week..tak pernah hayat kan rasa rajin nak pi skolah. And I'm so suka with the healthy, encouraging & positive environment around the campus. Rasa happy je sampi I treat the weekends class as a vacation, away from the hypocrite corporate world.

Despite keje ofis, wedding adik2 and debar2 nak operate (and risau duk pikir cancer ke cancer ke..standard tiap2 kali nk lelap mata nangispikir ni ke malam last aku tido kt katil aku), aku study jgk la mengenangkan study pakai duit sendiri..mahal lak tu kan. Baca byk kali pun mcm tak masuk je..kwn2 lak mcm devil's wears charles&keith kan duk ajak melepak melepek je. Dah kuar result rupanya lulus..better than I'm expected, lecturer lupa pakai spek kot. Syukur alhamdulillah.


To those yg panggilan tepon tak dijawab & msg tak balas..minta maaf byk2 okeh. It was during a very difficult time.

Let's count our blessings & be happy! May 2011 brings more love, loyalty and happiness to us (dalam maknanya ni =)